Two worlds and one evil
by infernomage
Summary: r for swearing, violence, blood and lunacy! Terrible things began to heppen and great evil has become more powerful. Please R/R!


Title: Two Worlds and One Evil  
Genre: Humor, Action, Adventure  
Rating: R for swearing, violence, blood, and lunacy  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. In fact, none of us owns this expect for the new characters not from this story.  
  
  
  
  
  
Down the dark land, where the smoke covers the air, fumes spread everywhere, fire and ash mix around dramatically. Monstrous shadows lumber all over the place. And we're showing the entire audience watching a mere movie in the muggle world. Lord of the Rings; the Two Towers! Cue battle sounds. As hours drained away, the various Hogwarts students headed to the waitinng train.  
"That was fun."  
"Yeah, we should do this again."  
"Let's go back to the muggle world to see more movies."  
"Yeah, it seems cool!"  
"Muggles? Who needs them."  
Snatces of conversations were muttered excitedly, like the chit chat of rodents. The converations continued as the train heads straight on to Hogwarts.   
It was just time for lunch several weeks later and Ron, Hermione, and Harry finished their food first and ran doown the corridor. Just as they were rounding a corner, there in front of them stands… Malfoy.  
"Going somewhere?"  
"What you want Malfoy?" Ron asked sneering.  
Draco mimics, "What do you want? What do you want?" then laughs.  
"Ok, you want some knuckle sandwich you bugger? I'll kill you you arse!" Ron explodes. Draco puts up a terrific fight as Ron started to jump him and beat him. Draco held his arms and pulls it hard and headbutts his head and blood starts to bleed.   
"Oh no!" Hermione whimpered. She ran to get a professor. draco slams Ron in the wall and Ron gave dozen punches. Draco staggers like a drunk and stood still looking sharp and badass. He blocks Ron's nexy punch and knocks him into the wall. And starts doing flying kicks and time freeze jumps. Ron was a mess and then Harry came up behind Draco and does a nerve pinch. Draco falls down. Ron was kicking him, "Yeah. Yeah. How you like that bitch?"  
"RONALD WEASLEY!!!"  
The two boys jumped. McGonagall stood there with mouth opened.   
"Detention and 100 points for vulgar language!!" She grabs Ron by the ear and drags him away. Harry was too being yanked. Draco was taken to the hospital wing.  
  
Four weeks, later, Ron was walking around looking like a exhausted rhino. Draco came up taunting at him. Ron charges the blond Slytherin but Harry drags him back.   
"Honestly Dray, you just don't shut the hell up do you?"  
"Why should i Potter? Gonna come at me? Go ahead. I dare you."  
"Nah, you ain't wotrth my time."  
"what's a matter? Chicken?"  
"Oh yes, i am very much a chicken thanks. Bucka!" Harry said cooly.  
  
Draco muttered about things his father had told him and walked away. Ron and Harry complained for hours about Draco. Hermione as usual… studies. No surprises there. The next day was Potions first and Snape deducted house points and awarded house points and gave detentions and was overall a grease ball. Next was Transfigurations. Boring? No. Ron accidentally turned Harry into Cinderella. Comical? Not quite. Ron turned into a weasel and Draco turned into a ferret (a result of them both trying to curse each other at the same time). They battled and chattered. Harry, as Cinderella, cleaned the dusty floor. McGonagall was putting on a skin care treatment lotion she had gotten from the health care clinic. Hermione turned the boys back to their normal selves and Neville (for once) perfectly turned his cockroach into a bar of soap. McGonagall squeezed the lotion bottle a little too tightly in surprise that Neville had aced her test. Everyone was covered in the lotion and all went to take a shower. As they later headed on to DADA, everyone started having some rather embarrassing problems battling a pig who could turn into a rhino. Blaise Zabini screamed like a girl and Seamus came to his rescue and opened a can of whop ass and beat the rhino senseless.  
"Insane Irish." The rhino muttered and died.  
"Are you okay?" Seamus asked as he held out his hand to Zabini.  
Zabini smacked his hand away and walked off looking resentful and angry for that embarrassing incident.   
There had been a daily prophet artical saying that Lockhart had been murdered by some author who happens to be writing this fic. He cackled madly as he wrote horrible things about this stuff. Yet, the plot is awaiting. How blunt and obvious of the author to say. And now the class headed for Herbology and had to survive the murderous Devil's Snare. Neville saved Hermione and kissed her deeply, Seamus saved Zabini and earned himself a slap in the face. Ron and Harry fought themselves out in the hard way, yelling. Malfoy grabbed a sword and fought valiantly and saved his fellow Slytherins and left.  
Next up, there was History of Magic. Binns had been banished by Malfoy because he was royally pissed anyway. Bored out of his skull, Malfoy got detention by Flitwick who just happened to be under Binn's desk. Now you must be wondering, "What the devil is Flitwick doing under the desk?"  
The answer: No one knows. Mwuahahahahahahaha!  
Ron, Hermione and Harry started walking over the large plain fields with yellow daises and ran around madly. Terrifyingly, there was a music that seemed to be from the Sound of Music which scared the pants out of everyone and they all ran out of there.  
Snape drank a potion that he believed would give him the ability to be greasier and oilier. The four kids: Hermione, Harry, Malfoy, and Ron showed up. Snape asked what they are doing there. They didn't say anything. They put their hands up and muttered some words in a dead language that had never been used for millions of years. Snape was in a trance and a dark shadowy figure invaded Snape from behind and the four clones left and the originals appeared and Snape was angrier than before and started giving detentions. Of course, then Dumbledore had to restrain Snape and send him home.  
The clones began to walk upon the school and mutter curses and Dumbledore found himself standing in his hair. He is bald and has a short beard. He runs away from Hogwarts with a bunch of magazines and went home to read them.  
Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey switched their job and McGonagall was extremely sweet. The rest of the students were just fine. Filch was running away from the large long lumbering monster that had been trailing him and when he met a dead end, he screamed. Mrs. Norris was swallowed and then so was Filch. The monster disappeared without a trace.  
Somehow, thousands of people poured themselves into Hogwarts. All students began to run wild and escape. The staff stumbled constantly on various items including a sink and several diry magizines that belonged to the students. Malfoy began to feel icy cold hands creep down his pants. Then a guy pulled his underwear over his robe and said, "Wedgies!"  
"Yaaaa! bloody muggle! I will fucking kill you!" He screamed in pain and then killed the stupid muggle. Emily Dickinson sees Malfoy and jumps him. Dragging him away screaming and flailing his arms and legs around. Blood trails all over the walls, floors, ceilings, paintings, and everywhere. No wait, actually some were just red paints sorry.   
"I'm gonna love you, squeeze you, paddle you, pamper you, hug you, kiss you, and call you George."  
"Nani?" Malfoy said in Japanese. ""Aaaaaaah! Get away from me woman?! Aaah! shimatta! Oh fukka." he hits his face on the wall as he said that.  
Emily took Malfoy into an empty room and the noise was suddenly gone. Emily ties him up and began looking at him, drooling and ogling. Malfoy screamed for help.  
"What's your favorite color? What's your favorite number? When's your birthday? Is Harry your lover? Who is that eagle owl of yours? Is your father that handsome? Can we have sex?" she keeps asking random questions that drive Malfoy to pass out in fear. His throat was raspy and parched from screaming. Emily doesn't notice a dark lumbering figure rising up behind her. Malfoy wakes up and breathes heavily in fear. He struggles to get free and Emily starts to jump at Malfoy and they fall over onto the floor. Emily started to tear at him insanely and then she turned to see the yellow eyes. She falls down dead and Malfoy cut himself free and escapes. The figure strikes and strikes. Malfoy grabs a sword out of mid air and slashes. It turns away and swallows Emily whole and left Malfoy panting in fear.  
The entire Hogwarts was now back in perfect condition expect for the staffs. Malfoy went around shaken and watching his back. Harry popped out scaring the wits out of him.  
"Hiya Malfoy. How are you?"  
"Kuso! what do you want, Potter?"  
"Gosh, well I'm just gonna go grab something to eat. Well, see you in a while." Harry left Malfoy standing there looking shocked and confused. Malfoy felt something tingly over his neck, and something snatched him away. Harry, Ron, and Hermione vanish without a trace. Blue glowing eyes look through the dark corridor and sounds of cruel laughter envelope everything.   
After all of that madness, it would be note-worthy to know what the Minister of England was doing at the moment. After all, why wasn't he doing anything about the sudden madness that had taken over seemingly the entire world overnight?  
Minister Fudge was definitely NOT the happiest person in the world. He was currently rushing towards his office at which point he locked himself in and moved towards a globe of the world with various flying colors showing where the other Ministers of the world were at the moment. He opened the globe to reveal a large brandy glass as well as several cups of varying sizes. Each one was labeled for any type of crisis.  
Glass One: today was a great day!  
Glass Two: don't worry; you'll win back those votes soon!  
Glass Three: this isn't so bad; your wife won't stay with that twit for TOO long.  
Glass Four: you know you shouldn't be drinking. She was too old for you anyway. You're a stud! You'll find someone else soon!  
Glass Five: of course you-know-who doesn't exist! Here's a toast to your determination to see through the lies of everyone ELSE.  
Glass Six: everything will be fine. Those dead people will be honored and no one will blame it on you. Surely that woman who hit you with her purse only thought you were someone else.  
Glass Seven: those kidnapped people will return soon, don't worry. Have something strong though, just in case.  
Glass Eight: so Dumbledore's finally gone mad and helped Sirius Black, eh? Have a drink.  
Glass Nine: So Voldemort IS alive! And everyone wants your head on a platter? This is cause for concern!  
Glass Ten: Harry Potter is dead? I'm out of here. The end of the world is right around the corner.  
Fudge was currently drinking out of Glass Seven. Not only were Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom missing, even Draco Malfoy hadn't been seen for days! The Minister of Magic was in quite a fix, what with everyone whispering that you-know-who was alive and that their savior had gone missing. And that Skeeter woman was pestering the skin off his back! He took a long swig of his drink.  
He glanced up just in time to see a note on his desk. Moving towards it, Fudge tentatively lifted it up and read it. His eyes widened at what he read and he promptly fainted (his glass clattering to the floor).  
"Dear Minister Fudge,  
You must be wondering who I am. My name is infernomage and I am what is known as a fan fiction writer. I doubt you are intelligent enough to understand what I am, even if I were to explain it to you. I have currently kidnapped all of the people that would ever be able to save you from Voldemort," (this is the part where Fudge fainted) "and I have placed them into another world that is exactly like your world, only under my complete control. Along with my co-writer and side-kick, Amber, we have managed to create a new order to things. Let's see if your precious heroes will be able to escape our world alive.  
Sincerely yours,  
Infernomage.  
P.S. If you happen to find Draco Malfoy, please tell us where he is. We plan on having him in our universe as well, if only we could figure out where he's hiding."  
In a far away universe, light years and several long existences away, the characters of the Harry Potter dimension sat curled into fetal positions, unconscious. Harry Potter was lying under a large oak tree. There was a sword lying on the floor beside him. Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley were sleeping inside of an enormous tower. Ron Weasley was sleeping at the edge of a large kingdom in a servant's cottage, his eyes twitching in his sleep. On the floor by his head was a full set of body armor and a sword in a scabbard.  
Draco Malfoy, however, was nowhere to be found. The reader could hear (well, more like imagine) a terrible screaming and shouting from somewhere in the distance. Then laughter arose. 


End file.
